Friday, May 2, 2008

The Real Secret of Great Sex

When it comes to sexual satisfaction, size matters. But it's not what you think! It's the brain that counts more than any other part of your anatomy.

That's the word from clinical psychologist Daniel Amen, author of "Sex on the Brain: 12 Lessons to Enhance Your Love Life," who maintains that sex largely occurs in your brain, specifically the right temporal lobe. He calls it the B Spot. ''In order to have a great sex life, you have to have a great brain,'' Amen told McClatchy Newspapers. ''It just seemed like nobody was putting the brain right in the middle of our sex lives."

It's really very simple. The part of the brain Amen has dubbed the B Spot, is what he calls ''the seat of orgasms.'' So the key to a satisfying sex life is to take care of your brain. That means you need to exercise, eat a healthy diet and avoid chemicals that can harm your brain.

You can also use your brain to squelch inappropriate and potentially life-damaging fantasies. For example, if you begin to fantasize about having sex with that cute new neighbor, go right ahead. But don't stop too soon. Continue the fantasy and include the consequences: the havoc and heartache of getting caught, the fights with your spouse and the shame you will feel when your parents, friends and children find out. If your brain is working properly, that fantasy with the neighbor will shrivel up.

Amen also advises you to use your brain for your mental health, especially after a breakup. He calls it rational self-talk. Remind yourself that "relationships end because they don't work," he told McClatchy Newspapers.

Here are some fun facts about your B Spot:

  • For women, enjoyment of sex is associated with greater longevity.
  • For men, more frequent sex helps them to live longer and healthier lives. When men have sex three or more times a week, they reduce their risk of heart attack and stroke by half.
  • When you fall in love with someone new, your brain is bathed in dopamine, a neurotransmitter, that creates strong feelings of pleasure.
  • The part of the brain that is responsive to sex hormones is 2.5 times larger in men than women. "Men are programmed to be more responsive to sexual feelings than women," says Amen.
  • An economic study found that increasing sex from once a month to once a week provides a bump in happiness equivalent to earning $50,000 more a year than you currently earn. However, there is no correlation between sexual frequency and actual income levels.
--From the Editors at Netscape
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